American George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Tax them. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. Nobody seems to care. apstag.init({ Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? It's a big club and you ain't in it. return cookiePair[1]; 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. They're imaginary. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Theres no present. Never argue with an idiot. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. })(); - George Carlin quotes. Laugh often, long and loud. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. Right in the fucking head! It will not be with jack-boots. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. Really? I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Comedian It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Its interested in its own power. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } It creates a hostile work environment. Its a great feeling. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. This is what we have to offer. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. You have no choice. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. for(var i=0; i The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. Feel free to reach out and connect. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. Weve added years to life, not life to years. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. } catch (err) { Lists. I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Its disgusting, man. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. "George Carlin confronts reality". They will do anything for the unborn. In America, anyone can become president. Theres a humorous side to every situation. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. (function () { Yeah, I know, youre thinking. //
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